Something From Tumblr

Just this morning I saw a video on tumblr. A video of a girl describing herself. I find her inspiring, with her braveness telling her flaws and her negative aspects. Her description of herself was never far from mine. And since I just started this blog on April 2010, I might as well be open for my readers (if i have some :( )

So hello guys. I'm "Lady nonexistence".

Pretty much not like those average girls.

I have thousands of flaws.

A lot of people, yes a lot of them, have been accusing me that I'm gay. But the fact is, I'm not. They badly want me to have a boyfriend so that they'd stop accusing for such a thing. I don't like having one either. But I'm never close to possibilities. Anyway~

I don't wear heels, I wear glasses, and wearing skirts, tank tops or colorful make up is never on my list-to-do. It's senseless.

I listen to hardrock songs, alternative rock or even screamos, but i do listens to some RnB's, acoustics and pop just to keep me updated to the other world.

I am terribly AWKWARD. I only survive talking to someone for like 5 minutes, and after that, I'm completely blanked out. I don't know. Maybe I'm just not good at verbal communications.

I am not intelligent. Failing grades are my buddies. Nuff said.

My physical appearance is a disappointment. I don't have long shiny hair that other girls have. I am not even a size zero. Coz I eat a lot (and I don't see any problem with that). Beauty seemed to have turned it's back on me. But I don't care. It's not that I'm bragging or anything, but I do have some suitors.

But despite these flaws and negativity, I still got my friend/s.

No, maybe I just have one... two... or three but there's just there. (zero cheeziness)

And I'm thankful that I don't have any haters....yet. But maybe I do have some. Just stalking around and secretly planning something evil against me. 

But I hope not. I'm trying to be as approachable and less loner as I can possibly be.

With all these uninteresting characters, it's just made me more numb and stronger each day.

I don't need all the good stuffs just to make myself feel good. Even if sometimes it wakes my tears at night (no I am not fragile). I'm still me. And no one can change that except Him

No Time For Drama

It just kills me everytime I helped someone and they'll end up better.

This curse started when I was a kid. When my cousin asked my help by teaching her how to wear proper clothes. She didn't have much knowledge for fashion yet. And since I'm two years older, I did helped her, knowing it was a good thing to do. Few days later, her mom bought bunch of new clothes and some of them were EXACTLY like mine. I got upset. My mom wouldn't buy me numerous clothes for it's a waste of money. I don't have any choice but to forget it.

Years gone by. And my curse just kept on happening.

It's like living in a world full of jealousy and disappointments.

I know, I don't have to take this kind of stuff seriously. It's not like I own this kind of problem myself. But you can't blame me for such attitude i'm in to right now. Iv'e put a lot of effort on my words and shits but still it wasn't good enough. I need to find myself and see what i'm good at. I'm now 18 and I still don't know my worth. For those people who never encounter such pride-swallowing situation, you are fortunate. I envy you, A LOT.

Once again my self-reverence has drop down to it's worst level. And everytime this happens, my food consumption epically rises without thinking of the ugly outcome of my action. That's right, food. It's the only thing at the moment that keeps me away from misery. The more I tried, the more failures I get. Sometimes I thought of this as a reversed blessing. The absolution started when i was born, then now it's on its way to hell.

But now that I'm getting older each day, I have to set my mind to a mature level. It's time to end the drama and to cut this pride loose. Pour down all disappointments and I'm sure I'll be your one hell of a fan. I'm just saying. I think it's time to open myself to much greater opportunity. Gotta set aside old, pointless and unfinished thoughts. Now all I wanna do is to break free to the wilderness of judgments. So, FAIL ME ALL YOU WANT, and I'd welcome you with my deepest and sincerest piece of appreciation. :)

That is my new kitteh "kibs".I named him kibs because of his tail. As you can see, he doesn't have a tail. Cebuanos called it kibol. Anyway, he is my new best pet. I got him as my pet afterMelai (first best pet) died.

We spoil kibs a lot. Feed him 5 meals a day, feed him vitamins and let him sleep his ass out all day long.

I love this cat. Even if he annoys me everytime i'm studying. Like what he did on that picture(upper). I was studying for my statistics examination. Right after i put my stuffs on my bed, there, slept his ass over my things. And i love my cat for that.

But i still can't forget Melai. If i didn't found my first pet, i will never learn how to love cats.

Some people find me hard to understand. They think that i'm hard to manage and too fragile to handle. But on the other side, some of them find me funny, easy going, patient and best of all, a good listener.

But really am i?

Well, I cannot answer that question. Attitudes you see in me are my blind sides. I have nothing to disagree. Blind sides are the attitudes people see in you. Behaviors that you are not aware of. Some of it may be good things and some may be criticisms. You cannot change your blind side. But you can change what people thought of you. Here are some of my visible sides (attitudes i am aware of):

○I am very patient. *sarcastic smile*

○I am a lazy ass. ^_^

○Sarcasm is no where in my vocabulary (this i'm not sure)

○I love revenge.

○I always think i'm ugly.

○I get jealous easily. (and can get over it in a minute)

○I listen to people when they are talking even if it annoys me or i'm no mood for chit chat. (not all the time of course)

○I swear alot inside the house.

○I get easily disappointed.

○I'm quiet when i'm mad.

○I hate it when someone stares at me for more than a minute. (especially if it's a boy)

○But I love staring to other people, for hours. :D

○I stalk. (beware..)

and~....

Shoot, I forgot some of them.

And that's about it. A piece of myself, for you.

How about you? I would love to know more about YOU...yes you. :)

A TRIBUTE TO SPONGEBOB

Nothing can separate me from watching the best cartoon show of the universe: SPONGEBOB! He always makes me laugh even at my worst mood. I love him and Squidward's a jerk. JK :)

Who is spongebob?
-He is a naïve and goofy sea sponge who works as a fry cook in the fictional underwater town of Bikini Bottom.
SpongeBob is an optimistic and energetic character. His hobbies include jelly-fishing and blowing bubbles with Patrick. He is unaware of how Squidward is annoyed by him.

These are his famous lines that I'll never forget:
"Squidward this is great. Just you, me, and this brick wall you built between us."
"You know, if I were to die right now, in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend...well, that would just be ok."
"Don't worry, tomorrow we'll be back for more frolic and fun."
"Squidward, you're steaming. You're like a steamed vegetable, only smarter!"
"Isn't this great Squidward? Just you & me together for hours and hours and hours! And then the sun'll come up, and it'll be tomorrow, and we'll still be working! It'll be just like a sleepover! Only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease!"
" You'll never beat me, Im HYDRODYMAMICALY DESIGHNED!!!"


and best of all the famous "im ready!"

But since I started it already with spongebob's sayings, I'm gonna post some of his friends' famous lines as well. :)
PATRICK:
"Dumb people are just blissfully unaware of how very dumb they are (as he drools)."
"I wumbo, you wumbo, he she we wumbo, wumboing, wumbology, they study of wumbo...come on Spongebob, this is first grade!"
"You mean they're taking the thoughts we think we thought and making them thoughts we think we thought... I think."
It's a vast swirling wonderland of sparkling white pleasure. Let it fill your sences with cascading fluffy pillows of excitent, and comfort, as you've never felt before.
SQUIDWARD:

"I'm a winner, see my prize. You're a loser who sits and cries!"
"I order the food, you cook the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die. That seems like a good deal to me, what do you say? "
"Patrick, if I had one dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar."


Some of their conversations that i'll never forget:



SpongeBob SquarePants: "Hey Squidward want me to cast out right here so you can watch me?"
Squidward: "No! How about you cast out over there so I can ignore you."


Spongebob: Remember, Patrick...Flatter the customer.
*customer opens the door*
Patrick: I love you.


Spongebob: Bye Mr. Krabs Bye Sqiudward, Bye Sqiudward
Patrick: You said bye Squidward twice
Spongebob: I like Squidward


Spongebob: "Hey Squidward. Guess what today is.
Squidward: "Annoy Squidward day?"
Spongebob: "No, silly. That's on the 15th."

Patrick: "Are you Squidward?"
Fire Hydrant: " "
Patrick: "That's ok, take your time."


-the end-

My life since June 27, 2010. sunday

I went up from bed.

Ate my breakfast and went to Mactan Cebu International Airport.

Worked my ass out (and texting at the same time c: ).

Got pissed for certain reason.

Was quiet.

Got pawned by scaring the shit out of me (they were terrible T^T).

Was quiet.

Got tripped on the stairs and injured my toes (i ♥ my life).

Went home under-time.

Mom and nanay got angry because i fell down the stairs. (wtf).

I ate my supper.

Slept.

Next day..Monday.

I went up from bed.

Wasn't felt good at all.

I was thinking..kept Thinking.. *@!#?#$%*^%^*

I opened my facebook.

Mom just liked my status about marijuana, WEIRD. *0*

Bi-polar strikes (yes, i am aware of it).

I ate my breakfast/lunch.

Went to school.

First subject was good.

Second subject : STATISTICS

"F#@k, i forgot to buy scientific calculator! T^T"

So I didn't attend my statistics class.

Flunked our very first quiz, and my first absent this school year.

My Life

-bow-

I love you. Three words commonly used by lovers. Words that are mere meaningless for me. They're nothing but words spelled as i-l-o-v-e-y-o-u and enunciate with exaggerating feelings making it more romantic. Well, maybe i'm just acting jerk. For i don't actually know how it feels if someone tells me that. *goosebumps*. Though a lot of random ghastly guys may have said that through texts. But instead of feeling blissful, i kind of felt insulted. I don't know. Didn't sound decent. For me, words like "i like you" or "i admire you" are much more noteworthy. I'm just saying. I mean, we're still teenagers. We haven't gone through enough experience to say that we are indeed "in-love" (ugh~). But, if you are really in love then i am more than happy to hear that. I am just expressing my personal thought upon a certain word that doesn't really have any meaning to me, yet. Another piece of my life. I don't mean to disregard people's beliefs, i swear. Please don't feel offended friends, i like you. :)