This curse started when I was a kid. When my cousin asked my help by teaching her how to wear proper clothes. She didn't have much knowledge for fashion yet. And since I'm two years older, I did helped her, knowing it was a good thing to do. Few days later, her mom bought bunch of new clothes and some of them were EXACTLY like mine. I got upset. My mom wouldn't buy me numerous clothes for it's a waste of money. I don't have any choice but to forget it.
Years gone by. And my curse just kept on happening.
It's like living in a world full of jealousy and disappointments.
I know, I don't have to take this kind of stuff seriously. It's not like I own this kind of problem myself. But you can't blame me for such attitude i'm in to right now. Iv'e put a lot of effort on my words and shits but still it wasn't good enough. I need to find myself and see what i'm good at. I'm now 18 and I still don't know my worth. For those people who never encounter such pride-swallowing situation, you are fortunate. I envy you, A LOT.
Once again my self-reverence has drop down to it's worst level. And everytime this happens, my food consumption epically rises without thinking of the ugly outcome of my action. That's right, food. It's the only thing at the moment that keeps me away from misery. The more I tried, the more failures I get. Sometimes I thought of this as a reversed blessing. The absolution started when i was born, then now it's on its way to hell.
But now that I'm getting older each day, I have to set my mind to a mature level. It's time to end the drama and to cut this pride loose. Pour down all disappointments and I'm sure I'll be your one hell of a fan. I'm just saying. I think it's time to open myself to much greater opportunity. Gotta set aside old, pointless and unfinished thoughts. Now all I wanna do is to break free to the wilderness of judgments. So, FAIL ME ALL YOU WANT, and I'd welcome you with my deepest and sincerest piece of appreciation. :)
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